And… we’re back.

Been a while. My apologies.

This time I’ve left it so long that if I were to write a regular update here that covered every movie review I’ve released since the last installment of this series, I’d have essentially written a novel. I don’t have the time to do that, you don’t have the time to read it, so let’s do something else instead.

We recently debuted a new review format at Ready, Steady, Cut! that takes the form of a hypothetical conversation. I’ve never seen any other publication do the same thing, so that’s good, and it increases my output by a significant margin, so that’s better. We’ll just cover the releases since that change. And I promise that I’ll keep up with this from now on.

First up, Resident Evil: Vendetta. It’s the third in the CG series of everyone’s favorite batshit-insane video game adaptations. I enjoyed it, and you might too, depending on your tolerance for Resident Evil‘s usual blend of utter insanity.

You also might have noticed that a new Transformers movie was released recently – the fifth, no less. And, fuck me, I kinda liked it. Obviously, these things are all judged on a bit of a curve, but for what’s it’s worth (and what it is) I thought it was one of the more enjoyable installments in the franchise. Is that the same thing as being “good”? You tell me.

I’ll tell you what certainly isn’t good, though – All Eyez On Me. Jesus fucking Christ. Terrible.

Slightly better, although hardly a masterpiece, is Rough Night, the new comedy starring Scarlett Johansson as an ostensibly normal person for once. I think I prefer her as a sex-mad extraterrestrial, but whatever. You can’t have everything.

You can have Cars 3, though. It’s the second sequel in easily Pixar’s least-involving animated world, and it’s still nakedly designed to sell merchandise, but they seem to be figuring these out to a certain extent. Look, it’s been a weird month.

Speaking of weird: The Circle is an utter filmmaking travesty. I know it technically came out in April, but Netflix picked it up recently and wheeled it out as some kind of “Original”, so it’s fair game. Don’t watch it.

Continuing the sheer insanity of this month is Captain Underpants, which, I swear to God, might have been my favorite movie of June. I promise I will never preemptively ridicule an animated kids’ movie ever again. Except for The Emoji Movie, obviously.

Finally, Despicable Me 3 is… kind of despicable, as it happens. Funny that.

There you go. Up-to-date. Sort of.

Next week. Trust me.

 

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